The Blog of Blogness

[Elindë]

The awkward moment when you read Blake's A Poison Tree and you think 'shit, the narrator's me.'

[Elindë]

Other people get woken up in the morning with simple thoughts, like 'I need to put the bins out', or even hapy ones like 'I smell waffles for breakfast'. (I've never had waffles for breakfast, by the way.) I envy those people; I get woken up by gems like this:

You know [in The Hobbit] where it says 'the elf-king had bargained with [the dwarves] to shape his raw gold and silver, and had afterwards refused to give them their pay'? Well it's very unlikely that Tolkien's talking about Thranduil there
a) because there were no 'ancient days' in which he was both king and there were dawrves hanging around and
b) because if Thingol had been killed by doing that why the heck would one of his subjects go and do the same thing?
c) The person who wrote the two histories of The Hobbit said he also thinks that the Elvenking was originally Thingol
Therefore I put it to you [ie the half conscious part of my brain going 'omg, please shut up!] that the elf-king at this moment in time isn't Thranduil but in fact Thingol.

Assuming that when Tolkien was writing this part of ]The Hobbit the stories in The Silmarillion were still quite sketchy, it's quite possible that he hadn't yet decided to give Thingol silver hair, not gold, and that he hadn't extended this 'love of white gems' to Thingol getting a cursed Silmaril, the king sitting on a wooden throne in Mirkwood could very easily be Thingol. What are the chances of two Elvenkings loving white gems above all others? Obviously later this is indeed the case and Tolkien gives very good reasoning but at the moment in time that this passage was being written he didn't yet know that Thingol was going to get himself killed.

Thoough the dwarves thing is the strongest flag, the metion of his people not being the ones who sailed into the West also suggests that this is Thingol, for this is true. Maybe The Silmarillion as would be was set to the East of the Misty Mountains rather than to the West of the Blue Mountains at this time, which would mean that the Elves of Doriath wouldn't even have to move. Both realms are beech forests with a large river running between the wood and an underground palace. Of course when Tolkien divided the two realms and time periods Thranduil's trying to emulate Thingol is a sound explanation, but for the moment we are imagining we are in the mid '30s, not the mid '50s+.

Now, Tolkien stopped writing The Hobbit for a long while somewhere between Thorin and co. being in Esgaroth and their being on the doorstep. Even though now, Thranduil is Thranduil from the start right to the end, but when there was no LotR, no Silmarillion as is and no Unfinished Tales, I think the Elvenking before this break sounds much more like Thingol, and the one after sounds like someone else, ie Thranduil. He changes completely from being, well, angry, to being impish and almost fatherly towards Bilbo. While the anger is present in both Thranduil and Thingol, Thingol seems to me to be rarely in a good mood, and I don't think he would ever give back-handed compliments on the field of battle. Once again there is the treausure situation. Thranduil goes from wanting his share out of the Dwarves no matter the cost, to saying '"Long will I tarry, ere I begin this war for gold. Let us hope still for something that will bring reconcilliation."' Considering Thingol caused the end of his realm in the name of a Silmaril (even though it can easily be argued once he'd so much as heard of the Silmarils he was done for), I don't think he would ever have held back like that.

So, even though when Tolkien decided that Thingol was apart from the Elvenking of The Hobbit so he made him into the very distinct character of Thranduil (thank god or I'd have no one to fangirl over), while he was writing it the Elvenking was written to be Thingol up until we meet Smaug and written to be Thranduil afterwards. I think he went back and added a few things in to separate the two characters in the passages in Mirkwood but he left enough tell-tale signs for aspects of Thranduil's personality to remain exceedingly close to that of his old king's.

Don't believe me? Read the times the Dwarves and Bilbo meet the Elvenking actually in Mirkwood as though the Elvenking was Thingol. If you put aside the latter fact that Thingol was dead by this time, he fits... very well.

^This is a sample of the essays my brain hits me with at c.7:30 am

[Elindë]

How can I revise when there's a group of Elvenkings and princes having afternoon tea wine in my head? Right now we have Thranduil, Fingolfin, Maedhros and Gwindor. It's a meeting of the maimed... and Thranduil. Why those people, I hear you ask. Your guess is as good as mine -sighs-

[Elindë]

Greetings, Oh Wanderer! I am Crown Princess of Narnia, Duchess of Ettinsmoor, Countess of Glasswater, descendant of the Elf Lord Feanor through his eldest son Maedhros, and heir of the Silmaril.

Pretentious whatsit. Obviously this cannot be true but two things are painful even so:
1) Maedhros had no heirs
2) he lost his claim over the Silmaril at the very end anyway
boom

Nothing worse than a factually inaccurate pretentious whatsit.
And guess who's been doing Maedhros research today.
And guess whose muse witnessed two of the kinslays. Seriously, he has a strange definition of need-to-know facts.

And I really hope 'Maedhros' doesn't start stalking me like the word 'phoenix' is... and the name 'Tom Cruise' though I think that was more many coincidences than actual stalking. Seriously, 'phoenix' has been popping up wherever I go for years.

[Elindë]

My friend: 'blah blah blah sindarin blah'
Friend's mum: 'Don't you mean elvish'
Friend:

I have taught my friends well. XD

[Elindë]

Well done; you have once again succeeded in making me feel 3 inches tall. Why do I even bother?

[Elindë]

if Maedhros wore a copper circlet round his head for centuries, was the skin underneath blue?

[Elindë]

[before this post starts, can I just say how useful the ë in my name is turning out to be ]

So I was listening to a song by Florence + the Machine:

Holy water cannot help you now
A thousand armies couldn't keep me out
I don't want your money
I don't want your crown
See I have to burn
Your kingdom down

Holy water cannot help you now
See I've had to burn your kingdom down
And no rivers and no lakes, can put the fire out
I'm gonna raise the stakes; I'm gonna smoke you out

Seven devils all around you
Seven devils in my house
See they were there when I woke up this morning
I'll be dead before the day is done
...

I was walking slowly across my room when I listened to the part in bold, and I thought 'that'd fit for the [seven] sons of Fëanor.' I double checked the name of the song, and stopped dead in O.o
Seven Devils... Seven Devils
MIIIINDFUUUUCK

[Elindë]

My 2012 from now:
6 weeks till my 18th
13 weeks till my last ever school day
17 weeks till end of exams
18 weeks till the States*
5&1/2 months till A2 results
7 months till uni*
8&1/2 months till The Hobbit: An Unexpected Journey

* = hopefully

[Elindë]

[me already planning a fanfic for the 1st Hobbit Film release where the characters have traits of the other characters the actors have played. getting a plot is very hard... it may end up as a collection of shorts... anyway; my mental process]

Well obviously there has to be Smaug and Bilbo's first meeting because that is just heaven sent. Instead of Smaug not being able to figure out who Bilbo is he gives one of Sherlock's long complicated explanations and then Bilbo's does a Watson 'what?'.

But what about all the others? Omg that is such an annoying time frame to be in! I mean I know it's actually The Hobbit time frame but that means people can't move around unless I do do shorts.

Okay, let's start with the obvious person. Pace... (you know maybe it's the Louisianan part of his accent which is so mmmmmm... I need to listen to actual Louisianans somehow and find out. Louis's too French to tell. Can't say the same of Pace's English accent though; I mean it's accurate for a very posh southerner but so urgh) ...has been a pie maker, suicidal, a bandit and a sparkly-sparkly (-mutters-) so make that proper vampire. Okay, so makes pies then some bad shit happens and he gets suicidal and then is bitten by someone... Saruman! There we go. No, that's Louis's life story.

Right, so we have Sir Christopher Lee and Lee Pace as vampire actors. Anyone else. Adrian Turner!!! But how to get Saruman, Thranduil and Kili..? Fili..? Which is Adrian playing? I think it's Fili... -googles- Kili... close enough. >.< So yeah, Thranduil and Kili in the same place; well that's obvious. Add in Saruman.... not so obvious. Maybe he bit Thranduil aaages ago... but people would have noticed? But he lives underground and all the feasting took place at night. OMG THIS COULD WORK! But where does that leave Martin and Benny? Cause their part is just genius so they will not be sidelined. And there aren't any vampires in Arda and I'd be writing them like Rice's lot and none of them are in any film adaptations and I doubt Pitt, Cruise, Dunst or Banderas (because the Queen of the Damned film doesn't exist in the same way that the cartoon versions of The Hobbit and LotR don't exist) would suddenly be on board so it'd be like: yeah, one's Dracula, one's from Being Human and the other sold his soul but they're being written like this whole other idea of vampires... because that's really going to work. And vampires don't eat so I couldn't have Thranduil baking really... and there'd be no Bret McKenzie references either and Bret is epic.

Start again. Though we still have the Smaug and Bilbo thing because that is just priceless. Maybe that's all I'll do? Bit of a waste but meh...

Okay so who else do we have to tamper with?
- Stephen Fry. A Jeeves-like Lake Master? No, you really need Laurie for that.

- Hugo Weaving? Matrix? I should really watch that now I've rented it. Job for tomorrow. We'll come back to that one tomorrow.

- Sir Ian McKellen. RSC... far too difficult. Iago in an underwear shop... lol; the English department.

- Orlando Bloom. He's been in a bit; could have him on a ship on the Long Lake - maybe being seasick! :L - but what would that tie in with? Not a lot. Erm... what else? Kingdom of Heaven... but there's no chance that I'll see that before November... well very little chance. Troy... he was Paris in Troy, wasn't he? And Bean was Odysseus wasn't he? I haven't seen it yet and as far as cast lists go I was too preoccupied with the fact that Legolas kills Louis. With a bow. Why does that make things so much funnier? And what an ironic time to rip your Achilles tendon... when playing Achilles I mean. Now that really is ironic. Not like some of the things people say are ironic when they really aren't. Like 'literally' too. 'I literally died.' Well obviously you didn't. What was I talking about? Ah yes, Sean Bean... And in any case Boromir's around at a different time to the rest.

Who else is a Dwarf? That Nesbitt person... James Nesbitt. Could have a guinness reference in there I guess. Or a yellow pages reference. But then people outside the UK may not get that...
Sylvester McCoy's Radagast, isn't he? Urgh, if only Tennant was playing Thranduil; that'd be epic. Or Simm playing someone. Even better. But neither are in it so meh. Radagast could time travel I guess but that'd be out on a whim as well. Urgh, why are Martin and Benny the only ones who've done something else together? Well, they aren't; okay something else which is different enough to LotR.

So frustrating! Leo Bill has worked with both Marton Csokas (Celeborn) and Lee Pace in completely different films but he's not in The Hobbit. The English naturalist, Charles Darwin. I think he's my favourite character in The Fall... Roy's such a bastard; he should have died.

Urgh, none of this is helping >.<
All I've decided on is the Bilbo-Smaug thing which I knew I was going to do from the start. Any help, anyone?

[Elindë]

Whenever I listen to Underground Machine by Take That I think of Louis and Lestat

I, I'm just a piece of your pie chart
You're in a room with a rock star
Only I play the good parts of a kind heart
The sky's too low and the room's too dark
But she just carries on
And I get her in but her friend gets turned away
But what can I say?

When the boy meets girl and the girl meets boy
And the boy thinks the girl's all right
Get your head out the library
Get the courage of the cavalry
You might be good looking,
But you can't sleep with yourself tonight

Scumbag brain

[Elindë]

Dad: the tea in the States isn't great. And my not great I mean it's pretty shit
Me: ah well, we'll have to take some with us
Dad: no can do; not allowed on the plane
Me: ... ... ....

[Elindë]

So first I saw this on tumblr:

Obviously I identified him as Harry Lloyd as Viserys....
but then I thought OMG Lloyd would make a perfect Finrod! And should they ever film The Silmarillion (which is highly doubtful) I shall be a little disappointed if he doesn't get the role.

Fyi I'm talking about super cute Lloyd as Herbert Pocket from Great Expectations, not evil psychotic Lloyd from basically everything else he's done. [some of Lloyd's GE scenes] He should play goodies more often! But he plays villains so well...

[Elindë]

I've been posting here so much recently but meh.

In the queue at the post office; it always feels like this:

Me
Other people

- Good morning. I'd like to send this parcel to Somerset. Yeah, Somerset. Theyall taaalk lyk this down'n Samurrset.
Queue: Ooh, Somerset: impressive.

- Hullo, I'd like to send this letter to France. Going abroad. Any of you going abroad anytime soon? Thought not.
Queue: Ooh! Exotic.

- I'd like to send a package to Germany please. Yup yup; Germany and France... kind of equally far away. But I'm sending a package there.
Queue: -nods- -claps-

- Sending a parcel to the States. Yeah man! Be impressed. I have friends in the USA; I am communicating with people in the USA. I am therefore 'snazzy'.
Queue: That is indeed pretty snazzy.

- Letter to.. wait for it, wait for it... Singapore! Heck yeah! I be one of first internet generation: I am 17 and I know people is SE Asia!
Queue: Wow, I never knew anyone abroad at that age
Try and beat that, guys.

- Bitch, please: New Zealand
Queue: And we have our winner!

[Elindë]

Once again I'm having terminology difficulties in a Tolkien fanfic. Basically there's a huge meeting going on at Gil-Galad's place to decide how the newish kingdoms are going to work together, but the princes, princesses etc have got bored so have decamped to the surrounding forest. But now there's like this big meeting about to happen so the various rulers have gone out to try to find them. Basically this is going to be the first feast in the forest type thing... and this is where I ran into a problem.

Gil-Galad: Look, there are red lights over there!
Celebrimbor: Mayhap they'll lead us to them [the decampers]
Oropher: I wouldn't follow them...
Gil-Galad: but they might be signs-
Oropher: No, they're just my son being a dick.

How on earth does one Tolkien-ise 'being a dick'?! >.<

Phoenix: problem? XD