Corrupt a Wish

[comma]

Granted, a 10 ton weight falls on your head and you go to the ER instead.

>_>

I wish I could get these threads straight. (*just typed -inserts coin- and had to edit* >_<)

[IceBlade28]

Granted, but they get so straight and sharp that they impale you, thus breaking free of the incorporeal state of the Internet and go on a mission to shank everyone living, thus bringing about the end of the world.

I wish I could be the best stand-up comedian =)

[Rae]

Granted, but now no one takes anything you say seriously.

I wish I could jump into DMC-verse and steal things...like Nero's arm...or Dante's clothes...or Vergil.... *has lapsed into day dreaming*

[WriterApprentice]

Granted, but your intrusion into their world causes conflicts and problems that you've alter the entire story of DMC.

I wish I could draw better, or better visualize my characters.

[Rae]

(Depending on the conflicts...I might be fine with that. )

Granted, but now you can't visualize anything else.

I wish I knew how to make the answering machine stop beeping.

[WriterApprentice]

Granted, but it explodes and destroys your house.

I wish time everyone was on.

[comma]

Granted, everyone's on--except you. And they all log off five minutes before you get on.

I wish I wasn't so horrible at writing song lyrics.

[IceBlade28]

Granted, but you write such incredible song lyrics that you are promptly frozen in cryostasis- forever- by the government so that they don't have to lose your epic lyric-writing ability.

I wish I could have more sleep. >.<

[Rae]

Granted, but now all you do is sleep and nothing else.

I wish my muses were more welcoming of guests. >_<

[WriterApprentice]

Granted, but they're so hospitable that they've become overly out of character to the point you can't face them.

I wish I didn't have to take all these classes and still get into university.

[IceBlade28]

Wish granted- the entire idea of taking classes to get your diploma is ditched, forcing people to question the meaning of higher education, which in turn begins massive civilian riots which cause the total collapse of society into blood-soaked anarchy, allowing terrorists to seize nuclear weapons and plunge the planet into nuclear winter and end all life on Earth. ^^

I wish I could speak every language.

[WriterApprentice]

Granted but the languages are all jumbled up, so every time you speak it ends up with you speaking in many languages in one sentence so no one gets what the heck you're saying.

I wish I had birthday cake flavored ice cream.

[IceBlade28]

Granted, but it's off, and you die, which causes an epidemic in the media, making people panic and think ALL food is poisoned, and so everyone starves to death, wiping out all life on Earth.

I wish I was superhuman enough that I didn't need sleep.

[comma]

Granted, but it's not actually a superhuman ability, it's incurable insomnia, and after not sleeping for a year and actually surviving it, you're taken into labs to be studied and a series of painful experiments are performed on you, which eventually lead to brain damage, which eventually leads to you being locked up in an insane asylum for the rest of your life and never being allowed to speak to another human again.

Or something along those lines. >>

I wish my sleeping pattern was slightly more normal.

[IceBlade28]

Wish granted, but you wind up with such a normal sleep pattern that your muses abandon you for someone who sleeps less, leaving you alone, which slowly drives you insane and sends you on a murderous rampage which destroys all life on Earth.

I wish politics weren't so confusing.