An Annoyance of Muses

[Elindë]

...and so it turns out that he's not all bad and that he's been watching Salli's back for aaages.

Great.

-grins-

-sweetly- Elduuuuuu?

Mmmmm?

-not so sweetly- Is it impossible for you to give me honest-to-god badass, rotten-to-the-core villains?

uuuh, mae. Because the real world isn't like that; there is light and dark in all of us-

even in Morgoth?

...apart from Morgoth-

And Sauron?

...and Sauron.

And that balrog that killed Glorfindel?

-looks at me as though I'm some sort of disgusting, smelly, gooey substance- That is a daemon of darkness without proper thought or any notion of consequences for it's actions.

Okay, so if we say everyone of the Four Free Peoples-

has light and dark in them. Yes!

Good. So that's settled. And all the characters you ever give me will be grey.

-nods-

Right. Maybe I should ask Leaf for help

You do that and I'll banish him. I am your muse, not some stupid thing pretending to be an Elf!

Oh for! Don't start that again! Okay, fine; I won't ask him.
...
Where is he?

-looks too innocent-

Phoenix? -hears chink of keys- -investigates Phoenix's belt, to his annoyance- -discovers large ring with the keys to his prison cells on it- -unhooks it and waves it in front of his face- -looks disappointed-

Alright, alright! I go let him out. -takes keys back and disappears-

-waits a while before headdesking-

[Elindë]

-walks in slightly light-headedly- Uh, hi. I may have just done something very, very stupid.

Oh god. What?

Well you know how Salli keeps cutting himself because he keeps smashing glass?

-feeling of impending doom- Yeeeeesss?

Well, for the sake fo authenticity... -raises right hand- -blood everywhere-

You didn't?!

-nods- I drew the cuts before they... disappeared under the rest of the blood.

WHAT THE HELL DID YOU DO THAT FOR? [The rest of my ourburst has been censored on grounds of language.]

Shall I patch him up? -yanks Phoenix's arm above his head-

-nods-

I'm sorry, it seemed like a good idea at the time.

There really is something wrong with you. -bargains to be let through into Phoenix's world with invisible wardens-

Leaf, tell his healers everything.

-sniffs- But they'll prevent me from seeing you! How am I supposed to help you if I'm locked in my rooms?

Well, if they do I'll try and make them change their mind -has fingers crossed behind back- Now get him to a healer, Leaf.

-is dragged home, limply-

-stands by desk in shock- Why? Just why?

[Elindë]

So you've tricked me into writing 5k of the novel mentioned above just so you could persuade me to write this other novel for NaNo instead? haha, very funny, will it still be as funny after I've broken your nose?

...

Now I have 2 novels on the go-

One.
I'm not not writing The One Who Breaks Glass!

-innocently- I know, but I promised not to give you ideas for Earth-Bound Angel so a similar situation doesn't occur.

-headdesks-

[Elindë]

Im harnannen! -holds up right hand-

-looks-

there's another glass cut on this palm, more recent.

-holds both hands up- A matching pair! The skin over the wound on his left palm is still a little pink.

Well you can't be too worried if you're joking about it.

I'm not worried; just a little annoyed. I can't write now; I smudge the ink with mu left and I'd open up this cut if I tried with my right.

So what happened?

Well, this glass vase had a weak point, so when I put pressure on it as I picked it up, it shattered all over my hand.

Oo

It wasn't very pleasant. One of the shards cut through the web between my thumb and index finger, so my thumb was hanging down a bit-

I don't want to know!

[Elindë]

-gooey eyed- have you seen Leaf's Elfling?

No, I haven't seen Leaf's Elfling; I can't go to his world-

He's so sweet! -overly large grin on face-

-backs away from muse-

They still haven't decided on a name. I made a few suggestions but of course they have a different language.

Well I'm happy for them

Oh yeah, and Leaf says he's too busy to help with your writing at the moment.

How did I guess that was coming? Is he popping in at all? he did insist he help with writing Glaslyn

If he can; he says he'll have to see what things are like at the end of October but from experience I can tell you he'll still be cooing over the Ellon then.

Great. I wouldn't mind if you understood all the magic he added into the story

-waves his hand- Don't worry about that; I'll be fine! After all, Leaf was only ever an aide. It'll be like old times, just the two of us! -hopes Leaf is too preoccupied to come back for a few years- But that baby is soooo cute!

-facepalms-

[Elindë]

I don' wanna go to school!

I don't want to go to work; life's a bitch.

But I have to go to school 5 days a week, 39 weeks a year.

The only days I get off are ones where I've been poisoned!

... Yeah but you're older than me.

What's that got to do with anything?

... Still don't want to go to school.

[Elindë]

How was school?

-glares- It was good but I'm not admitting it.

Nice necklace.

Oh, thanks. I notice that lacy is based on your alter ego.

-snorts- In so far as he wears a neckachief-

And the way he acts! -grins- But there's more than enough in your personality to flesh out two n... other people.

-gives sidelong glance-

So so far I have Mr Hyper-energetic and Mr Silver-linings's-cloud. Any plans for Glaslyn.

Ah, seeing as Leaf's on leave throughout November I'm taking charge of all characters, so she'll be based on my wife.
Oh right, that is good; we have a healer.

Well no, I was thinking more personality. -leans back and grins- It'll be interesting to see how I react to myself.

I think you'll be in for a shock.

[Elindë]

This RP's going to be a hoot! And that Reyson guy looks scarily like me Oo

Good! That's what you look like to everyone else.

I'm going to be a wild young prince again! -spins around- -stops as he's feeling sick- I hope more people join.

Yeah, me too. Would you mind if I used the fact that you're single to possibly draw Lura in?

No. Wow! It'll be weird being that young; no voices, no mental scars, being able to flirt. Not in ernest, you understand, but if Lura joins I'll definitely see how far I can go.

... And the moral of the story is; watch out, Lura.

[Elindë]

-whispers- Suilad.

-grins- Throat still sore from yesterday?

-whispers- Yes, I've completely lost my voice.

Pardon.

-whispers- I've com- oh shut up.

-laughs- Well if you will yell at dwarves for 3 hours straight.

-whispers- Stupid Dwarf wouldn't back down. Doesn't he realise his court's going to the dogs?

Why were you there?

-whispers- I was asked by one of the king's lords. Valar knows I wouldn't have been there by choice.

You, er, left in quite a hurry-

-whispers- Mae. The bastard 'vowed' I would die in the same way Thingol did.

Which was being axed in the back by a Dwarf?

-nods-

Ah, yes, I see the need for a speedy exit.

[Elindë]

-closes The Soddit with slightly pursed lips-

Have you finished reading that appauling excuse for a book?

Yes.

And?

And what?

Was it any good?

Yeah, 'twas alright.

-kneels on floor, puts elbows on desk and chin in hands-

Why the mopey face?

Well they made fun of me, didn't they?

No actually, they didn't; they took out the Wood-elves altogether.

-even more glumly- Shows how important we were

-coughs- Er, they merged you with Elrond

They did what?

Well, the spoof of Elrond came to the Battle of the (Famous) Five Armies.

-headdesks-

Just as well you weren't in it, really; there was Gandef, Elsqare, Sollum, Smug, Lard the Bowman, the Minty Mountain, the Thing, the Barkingstone - they gave Thorri-

Thorin?

Yup; they gave him a lisp.

-brightens up- They did?

Aye, but they didn't kill him in the battle-

-mopes again-

Don't worry; I'm giving it back to its owner tomorrow.

[Elindë]

Looks nothing like me

I know but I had limited resources.

... So long as no one uses it as a template for imagining me. -pokes possible offenders-

Gah! Why is there a background?

Because facbook upload is shit; you need a dA account.

... Oo Did you really just say that.

-Lounges on now vacant other chair- Maaaee.

[Elindë]

So it's 6 days from NaNo-

I am aware of that.

Is Leaf coming back?

No, he's given up. He says he'll return when you start writing his story. He sent me a bird yesterday.

But I don't intend to write his story for a long time.

I guess it's farewell to Leaf then. One can hardly blame him; he didn't know Shimmy was pregnant when he signed up for the job-

And you didn't exactly encourage him to stay.

This is true.

So yeah, the real reason why I want to talk to you is to ask: why the hell have you made me change stories this late?

-lying ontop of the chest of drawers- I never make you do anything, my darling.

You badger me into it. You must have little idea how persuasive you can be-

Oh I have every idea, my dear. -inspects his fingernails- It's part of my job to manipulate people. -moves his head so his hair flows down the front of the chest- In fact I'm doing it now.

Wha-?

-laughs- Don't waste your time; I'm off limits in so many ways. I'm married, I come from a different world, I'm well out of your league-

Oh, thanks!

-fans out fingers, still inspecting his nails- You're welcome. And even if I was still single I'm not about to become mortal for anyone.

I thought you were envious of the definite end to our lives?

Yes, but I'd hate to get old even more than I hate carrying on. Besides, Men don't go to Valinor, at least -falters- I don't think they do.

-mutters- Why are you always so morbid? -out loud- So about my novel!

What of it?

I have very little idea what I'm doing now.

But that's why you have me, my dear.

[Elindë]

So, Phoenix, why do you find arithmatic so hard?

It is hard if you have no word for a number higher than 14!

So how do you say '15'?

14 and 1.

42?

Thrice 14.

48?

Four dozen.

So you leave it as a calculation?

So do you? What is forty-eight but four tens and eight?

True.

So actually you only have special names for numbers up to 12.

Look, can you tell me what 13 and 14 are? I can only find them up to 12 online.

Well naturally, 12 is a magical number.

tâd + caer = ýneg

Your numbers aren't especially beautiful.

-sulks-

pen/min, tâd, nêl/neled, canad, leben, eneg, odog, toloth, neder, caer/pae, minib, ýneg, ?, ?

They aren't that bad!

[Elindë]

...Tainted stories made to please,
in those glossy magazines
My next door neighbor never speaks,
the curtains closed with seventeen

Touch the button
you should sit and listen
Watching as a tear
rains into a broken heart

It's a sad day for happiness
in this crazy world
It's a crazy world so
all we can do is be a little crazy, to save, today
...

Why did I play the song [clicky] when he was around? -headdesks-

[Elindë]

Phoenix?

-lying on chest of drawers again (it's becoming a habit)- Mae?

Have you even had any vaccines?

No, Elves don't get ill, you fool.

-pause-

Phoeniiiiix?

Maaaaeee?

Why is Alagos so stubourn?

Well he has to be to face up to his gods. That and a little foolish and mad.

You faced up to yours once-

... Yes; ages ago when I was foolish and mad.

And why does Alagos rush into things?

...Why not? Some do; some don't-

Is he going to rush into battle?

-can kind of guess where this is going but hopes he's wrong-

-looks at muse- -scathingly- Is he going to be killed because he was a obstinate idiot and ran into battle to early?

-sits up- -expression harderns- -warningly- Eli-

And is he going to have a son who's left to pick up the pieces?

-tries to keep expression neutral but fails- How can you say such a thing?

It's your own fault for making him more and more like your father.

-voice breaking- I can't help it! I don't know where I get inspiration from.

-astonished- Are you actually-? Yeah, he's actually crying. Oh -censor- -rushes over to take everything back-

-snarls-

-backs away-

You can say anything you want about me, to me or behind my back. But don't you dare say one bad thing about my father, you -censored Oo -didn't know Elves had such strong swearwords--! He was a valliant king who made one mistake. Now promise never to badmouth him again. I like you, you're a good person, but I will leave you is you do so again.

-quietly- I won't; I'm ashamed of myself -this is true; she likes Phoenix's father-

-hurumphs but agrees to stay-

Phoenix, I'm sorry-!

Not yet you're not! -leaves-