An Annoyance of Muses

[Elindë]

Phoenix! Stop writing yourself into RPs where you are absent!

Well I can't help my magnetic personality.

-splutters- Sorry... -starts giggling-

Man?

...Yes; your personality is indeed magnetic, seeing as you attract some people but violently repel others.

-purses lips-

[Elindë]

So while I have to go to bed and all that stuff back in his home Phoenix's crown changing ceremony is in full swing, with fruits and trifles and wines. Can you tell I'm peeved at not being taken to see? He's not even sending me a dream about it like he did last time cause, to quote him, he'll 'be too drunk' -.- The only consolation is that Lovai can't go either so there'll be two of us pestering Eldu come tomorrow, though he'll probably still be asleep/hung over while I'm getting ready to go out.

[Elindë]

So according to IMDb, Breaking Dawn is in post production...

Why does this concern you? I thought you hated Twilight

apart from Aro.

Oh I do, but who's in Breaking Dawn? Like your new crown, by the way.

Hannon le. It has a few blackberries in it this year. -rolls staff on lap-

I noticed.

-softly so as not to intrude- Yeah... but the actors might still be needed in post production. And I agree that your crown is very becomming, Eldu.

Shut up, Lovai! -wills Pace onto a plane to NZ-

It's still nighttime in the States, isn't it?

I guess. -isn't sure how far beind the UK NY is-

-nods- In that case I could appear to Pace in a dream... just to freak him out. -gets up-

-grabs his cloak- No!

-settles- Spoil sport.

You know the main photo of him on IMDb..?

Mhmm...

Well, is it just me or does he look like Dallas from Bang Goes the Theory and Egypt's Buried Cities?

...omg he does as well!

...Thanks for that, Wylofain.

... That crown really does suit you, you know...

[Elindë]

So Phoenix suddenly decided to give me Elven-name-pronounciation lessons... even though he's never said I pronounce them wrong before.

-amused- Right, so where do we start?

Well first off there's the trilled 'r' [written 'rh' here].

Oh come on, Phoenix, you know I can't trill!

At least try! -trills, grinning-

-tries, fails- Maybe you should just give demonstrations?

-closes one eye- Fine, this time. So which name's first?

Errr. Celeborn and Galadriel.

Well first off it's Ce·le·borhn and Gala·drhiel. As far as intonation goes, for both of them pretend you're spaced out. -pulls 'spaced out' face, dreamily- Celeborhn, Galadrhiel.

-tries not to crack up-

And Elrond is up-down, like you've just had an idea: El·rhond. Thingol is up-down too but more like a slow bell... and it starts lower: Thin·gol.

Okay....

Elladan's pretty flat, Elrohir's like you're greeting an old friend, up-down-level: El·lahdan, El·rhoh·hirh.

Glorfindel's like you're sliding down a slope but aren't too worried about it: Glorh·fin·del, and Erestor's like you're going over a hump-backed bridge: Eh·rhe·storh.

Lindir is happily spaced out: Lin·dirh.

Gil-Galad's like you've had an idea half way through, flat-high- middle: Gil·Ga·lad. Obviously I'm exaggerating the internation here.

Obviously... so what about the Greenwood lot?

Well, Galion's like you're sleepy but content: Gah·leeon.

Legolas is pretty dreamy too, though a bit like you're on something: Ley·go·las-

But in the films it's Lego·las.

Well the films are wrong then? Who do you think knows how to pronounce it; them or me?

Well maybe both are okay...

You asked how I pronounce things so I'm telling you.

Oropher's like someone took you by surprise on the second syllable, medium-high-low: O·rho·pherh. -jerks on the second syllable to illustrate-

And Thranduil's like you're crouching then springing up: Thrhan·duil -springs into desk and curses-

And is catching yourself on a corner necessary?

It's obligatory. Never say that name unless you're near a hard edge.

Maybe that's why the title is used so much.

-points finger in a 'you have a point' manner and smiles crookedly- Maybe indeed.

[Elindë]

I see a mataphorical bridge over there. Perchance it belongs to you?

Indeed it does.

Would you like me to burn it for you?

Would you? That would be so helpful!

Don't mention it.

[Elindë]

-watching Phoenix dancing trance-like with eyes closed, singing Bloody Mary ~ Lady Gaga [no I don't know how he learnt it]-

What's going on?

No idea... -sees huge bruise over Lovai's right eye and cheekbone- and where have you been?

-oblivious to bruise- My father was home.. for once... He says I can take the Test soon.

-spins round, still with eyes closed- -almost looks like he's doing tai chi-

And what test would this be?

The test. Father'll take me up to the cliffs and I'll hold up the staff of rule and one of the phoenixes will agree to be my steed and I'll be recognised as a carrier of the Old Magic. My family's one of the last.

And what happens if you fail?

-thinks- Nothing really. I mean I won't get disinherited or anything but I think my father wouldn't love me as much.

-bites tongue-

-watches Phoenix- -eyes glaze over-

Something wrong?

No, I was just trying to imagine Eldu doing barn dancing.

-laughs- That'd be a sight to see!

Is he possessed?

-deadpan- Probably.

[Elindë]

-overhears conversation-

-on the way to a council meeting-

[random Elf-lord]You look tired, sire.

I am tired. And bored. But all I can do is wait.

What for?

What else? Ea. The day the world ends and everyone sleeps forever. -smiles oddly-

Sire?

Oh, don't mind me. I'm getting to old for this.

Too old for what?

Life. Though I have no intention of sailing. So tired and cranky I shall remain.

...

-snaps- Come on, speed up! We're late as it is!

-really wishing she hadn't overheard the conversation...-

[Elindë]

[no muses involved, but...]

Oropher: Morning.

Finally! -looks around at all the spectral Elvenkings- Are we going to organise this Hallowe'en fic then?

Oropher: Right, well let me introduce... I'm Oropher-

I know who you are

Oropher: Riiight... Well the blond on the left over there is Amdír and the one he's talking to who looks a bit damp is Amroth (drowning leaves its mark). Then waaay over there are the silver-haired brothers; Olwë's the one who looks paranoid... well actually they both lok paranoid but Olwë's the one who never turns his back to Fëanor who I'll introduce in a moment. Thingol's the one who's face looks like thunder every time someone mentions dwarves.

So he's the one scowling at you right now?

Oropher: Indee. -to Thingol- My appologies, sire!

Thingol: -glares-

Oropher: Celebrimbor's the silver-haried one who looks like a wraith and Felagund's the gingerish-haired one who looks like a wraith talking to him (again, being tortured leaves it's mark).

So basically they look like Thranduil?

Oropher: Say that again and I'll cut out your tongue and laugh as you choke on your blood.

Felagund's still a little annoyed with Fëanor and Celebrimbor on account of Fëanor being Curufin's father and Celebrimbor being his son (Curufin-

Was one of the two Elves who deposed him. I know.

Oropher: So who does that leave? Ah yes! Orodreth's the one who's now talking to Amroth and Finwë's the ginger one talking to Turgon, the silver-grey haired one, and Fingon, the raven-haired one, just beyond Olwë and Thingol. Turgon and Thingol have a good rapport, which is pretty amzing considering.

There are a lot of red-heads!

Oropher: -in the same matter-of-fact tome as he's said everything so far- Yes, it's that one house so we can tell them a mile off and run very hard and very fast in the opposite direction.

Then Ereinion Gil-Galad is the brunette with a head the size of a goldfish bowl.

Gil-Galad: -used to such insults but splutters anyway- What was that?

Oropher: -ignoring him- It's amazing he manages to get it through doors.

Gil-Galad: If my head's bloated then what's yours?

Oropher: So that leaves Fëanor, who's the really auburn-haired one flittling between groups apologising on behalf of his sons. -stage-whispers- He's too full of himself and needs to be taken down a few notces.

Fëanor: And what exactly did you gift to society!

Thingol: I wouldn't call the Silmarils a 'gift', rather a 'curse'.

Fëanor: That wasn't my intention; it went wrong. And I suffered a gizzly death to pay for it. Ask Glorfindel if you don't believe me that death by balrog is painful!

Thingol: Mae, but once you're dead, you're dead.

Olwë: The manner of the death doesn't really matter once your with Námo.

Fingon: -sticking up for his family- But I repeat Fëanor's question: what did you do for society?

Amroth: Well... his is the only line that's still going...

Oropher: Thank you, Amroth....

Fëanor: -has a foul temper when angry and is angry now- Oh yes! And what a fine king your son is. Let us all celebrate as he drags the title of king down and down until its nose is scraping on the floor!

Felagund: Oh, that's right! Attack the one person who isn't here!

Orodreth: Such a cowardly thing to do.

Celebrimbor: Fëanor is many things but he is not cowardly.

Oropher: Oh so you're on his side now?

Celebrimbor: Well he is my grandfather.

Olwë: I wouldn't say that with too much pride if I were you, lad.

Gil-Galad: -sighs as a full-blown argument begins- So much for forgiving each other in death...

Oh, brother!

[Elindë]

[Phoenix and the London Underground don't mix]

-has eyes screwed shut- Are we there yet?

No, we're on an escalator.

What's that?

A moving staircase.

-whines-

You don't have to accompany me! You can go home if you want.

No! That would be admitting defeat!

Eldu, you don't like technology. It's fine that you don't like technology. However forcing yourself to be around it isn't such a fantastic idea. If you must stay then open your eyes!

I'll lead him, it's fine. -is wearing his casual camel-chord suit with brown elbow patches and coffee velvet waistcoat- -thinks he blends in but really doesn't- -takes Phoenix's arm-

-quickly removes arm and opens eyes-

-hurt- You're so trusting.

-have now walked to Euston Square pink [Hammersmith & City [that was it]] Line platform-

I don't like this!

I think we've noticed.

But I especially don't like being underground-

You live underground!

Not this far down! And it's all claustraphobic and stuffy.

Welcome to the Underground.

What's that sound?!

It's a train, Eldu.

Is it ours?

Probably.

That was quick.

Yes, there's a reason the trains are so frequent.

-looks into carriages as the train pulls in- It's packed with people...

That's the reason.

We aren't getting on it, are we?

Well you may not be but I am, my mum's already half into the carriage. -to Lovai- She has a 'London Walk'; it's that bit faster than her walk anywhere else.

-grins as trio get on the train and have to stand up-

-hanging onto hand rail, eyes closed- -mutters- I'm going to die. I'm going to die.

You aren't going to die, Phoenix. No one's attacked the tube in 4 years.

-wide-eyes- It's been attacked in the past?

Well yeah, like everywhere else in the world.

Is it far? Only we've been standing up since MK so that's what... an hour and a half now?

-sharply- Yess, Lovai! You've been standing up, Eldu's been standing up, I've been standing up, Mum's been standing up. It's called 'commuting into London'!

But we aren't commuting-

Shush!
You alright, Phoenix?

-wedged between two people speaking in Spanish, looking uncomfortable- Don't these people have any idea of personal space?

-being swung into people whenever the train goes round a bend too fast- Look around you, Sinda! Do you think there's enough space to spare not to jostle?

I feel like a sardine...

I think my knee's gone.

What?

It's all this standing up and being swung around! I should have brought a cane...

-sighs- We were unlucky; usually you don't have to stand on the mainline stretch.

How long until we can stop travelling?

Well we have to change at Paddington-

Eru, help me.

Get ready to run at Paddington, by the way. Mum and I never have the faintest idea where the train we want is.

-groan loudly-

[getting to central London's easy; it's getting anywhere else that's the hard part]

[Elindë]

Su'lad!

Go away.

-purches on desk- Whatcha doing?

Coursework.

I see you've got The Silmarillion out there...

Yes.

Talking of Tolkien, I have a new bunny for you-

Eldu?

Mae?

Are you in The Silmarillion?

Well... not exactly...

Piss off then!

... I'll tell you who is in The Silmarillion, though; Glorfindel's in The Silmarillion.

-calls- Glorfindel! Come and annoy Eli for me!!

Shaardvark...

[Elindë]

-from Eldu's halls-

So after the 'piss off' incident this morning, Phoenix spent the rest of the day high on cannabis - 'isn't life amazing? Omg, it's raining! Look at how perfect the raindrops are!' - which was both trying and scary - he was in a good mood for a whole day!

Then he came to himself and went home to a prearranged feast... even though I swear they had one not so long ago... usually at feasts he, like everyone else, drinks in moderation. I mean yes, they drink themselves under the table but they let themselves fall asleep. Not this time. For the past hour, Phoenix has been drinking a mix of Dorwinion and absinthe... because obviously Dorwinnion isn't strong enough already. O.o

Right now he's dancing round the hall with people - ie practically everyone still standing up - who seem as drunk as him but aren't with a decanter half full of this concoction in hand. Everyone's had so much that whenever they take a swig now half of it end up running down their chin... and everything anyone says is hilariously funny. Now Phoenix is a good singer and dancer... but at the moment he's not doing well. Neither's anyone else to be fair.

Galion had to sit down long ago and is now fast asleep against one wall and Lasgalen... actually I have no idea where Lasgalen is.

So basically, with two days to go before NaNo, Phoenix has been insensible all day. When he sobers up I'm gonna kill him. After I find out what the heck's wrong, of course. If there is anything wrong; you never know with him.

'You don't have to worry about muses doing bone-stupid things. Yours is a king and kings never let themselves go.' -huffs-

[Elindë]

Eli and the muses go to Guy Fawkes' Night

-in wide-brimmed hat- Now Phoenix, are you okay with fireworks?

-also in a wide brimmed hat but not such a wide one, Eli wins- -snorts- My dear, I've been making fireworks since Ancient Egyptians walked your earth!

True.

-has no hat, is hoping no fallout falls in his hair- So when does the display start?

At 7 which is round about.... now!

-first firewrok goes up. all watch-

-mesmerised- They're fantastic!

They're pretty good for a world without magic.

Just shut up and enjoy them.

-grins in the dark- Oh I am! I haven't seen fireworks since the Second Age

-shocked- How come?!

Well in a wood it's a wee bit dangerous

Cut the sarcasm, Sinda.

No can do, Adaneth.

-goes on for around 20 mins then ends-

Aww! I guess we go bak to yours now?

You wish, kid; this is the good bit.

I see burning torches... and hear drums... and see people dressed as Stuarts.

They've come to set light to the guy.

Huh?

-very sarcastically- Catholic-burning. Good, traditional English fun, this!

-winces- Well... orginally yes but now it's just tradition and a laugh -briefly explains the Gunpowder Plot to Lovai-

-nods- I remember this now.

-raises eyebrow- Wow! The fuel caught well this year!

-all watch the bonfire for about 15-20 mins-

-takes pictures, incl. the one at the top of this post-

-after a while nudges Eli- Look at Eldu!

Why?

He's acting weird...

-rolls eyes- Like wow.

But seriously, he's just staring at the fire, with wide glazed eyes and a strange, mad smile!

-looks-

-hypnotised and overly enthralled by the fire-

Oh, I shouldn't worry about that; that's just his closet pyromaniac showing itself.

He's a closet pyromaniac?

Mhm; all the Wood-elves are. It's not unusual. I mean, why do you think we're all still out here if we didn't like watching the fire?

...True.
There's a Chinese lantern caught in that tree!!!

LOL! Let's hope he leaves don't catch.

[they didn't catch; the lanterned freed itself XP]

[Elindë]

-sweetly-Eldu!!!

-appears in a bad mood- Man?

Well seeing as I'm almost a quarter of the way through my NaNo novel [wait, what? holy shit, nothing's happened yet >.<] and I haven't renamed any of the characters 'Thranduil' yet, I think someone's being a good muse-

I was sleeping for the first 3 days!-

I have a biscuit here for you. -has raspberry cookie [Eldu hates chocolate] as big as her palm in her hand-

-eyes cookie- You think you can win me over by base bribery? -huffs and turns away, arms folded-

Okay, fair enough. I'll give it to Lovai. -turns around-

-moves faster than sight so he's in front of her again- Haaang on, I didn't say I couldn't be. -takes cookie- But I will give some to Lovai.

-smiles lopsidedly-

-hopefully- Does it have cannabis in it?

-glares- No it does not!

Shame.

If Mum and I do go to Amsterdam around Easter, remind me to have you locked in a chest before we leave! -imagines Phoenix in a Dutch café and shivers-

-is eating the cookie-

[Elindë]

-sighs-

-reading newspaper- -also sighs- What now?

Nothing...

Well there must be something. Even you don't sigh for nothing.

Well... it's just that in Soldier's Girl Pace in drag looks more attractive than me.

-closes paper with an exhasperated sigh but keeps his thumb in the page- So?

I'm a female and a guy looks better as a girl than me.

Yes you are female. You are also 17 with a squint, buck teeth and a spot problem. And yout hair's all frizzy too-

-hurt- What?!

-going back to paper- You can't help the squint, your teeth will be sorted and you're a teenager with hormones all over the place so it's obligatory that you look worse now than you will at 20 when your hormones settle. Now stop moaning about trivial things and start worrying about things that matter! Like how to rid the world of dogs.

But-

And of course he's wearing makeup. When was the last time you dragged yourself out of bed early enough for you to have time to put on concealer let alone foundation?

Wow... thanks; you actually made me feel better for once.

-muttered cause he's reading- Yeah well don't get used to it.

[Elindë]

I got a conditional offer from Bangor uni!

-gives surprisingly manly manhug- Gler'i adanneth [Hail the woman]

Llongyfarchiadau [congratulations]